A Step Out Of Motherland

My carriage comes to a jolting halt. I’m finally here! As I look outside at my homeland I’m overcome with this forlorn craving to belong with her. But I’m here on a mission, it makes me think if I’ll ever be home. In this night the sky appears darker and the moon brighter than ever. My people are waiting for me to go out and address them. Taking a deep breath I open the door and step out speaking those well prepared words, “That’s one small step for a man…”

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This was my entry for a competition in our organization blog. The rules were-

·       Write a story/poem/song in English in less than 90 words with the core concept ‘love’.

·       Restrict your narrative forms to ‘folk tale’ or ‘historic fiction’. The characters could be real (ex: Ashoka the emperor) or imaginary (ex: Shylock from Merchant of Venice)

·       The narrative style should be first person singular/plural.

·       make sure you use the words ‘makes’ ‘me’ ‘think’ in singular/ plural or any tense as a tribute to MMT

So how did you like it? 

Love out of the norm

He was a Muslim and I a Hindu. As opposed to what many would assume, it was actually my people that killed him. Our love wasn’t acceptable, and wasn’t meant to be they said. They said it wasn’t love at all but sin to God. I wonder if it is so.

The first time I saw him was in high school. We shared the desk for the final exam and I helped him pass many subjects. I was shy and he was charming. It’s not as if I had not spoken to any guy before. Of course I had, what do you take me for? Yet, his smile made me feel right in all the wrong places. We spoke before and after the exams. To just sit beside him and not be allowed to talk was the cruellest thing! I actually wished he wouldn’t study well so that we’d interact more. Wasn’t that love? I helped him cheat, but in life he never cheated with my feelings. Wasn’t that love? Then why did they say it wasn’t? I wonder.

We did college together. Rumours were afloat about us and friends joked that we were such an item, but we laughed it off always. Deep down we both knew we liked each other. On the last day I confronted him.

“What’s your plan for the future?” I asked.

“Well, to get a job, earn well and marry a good girl that my family chooses for me.”

“Really?” I stared at him accusingly.

He nodded knowingly, “I don’t want to just marry some girl either. I don’t think I’ll be happy. I know what you’re thinking, Jo… I like you too.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I’m not clearer about anything else in my life. Ever since you helped me cheat on those exams, I knew you’re the anchor to my restless confused life.”

“I… I thought only I was going crazy.”

“Let’s be crazy together.” He smiled, and it felt like the normal thing to do. Then why did they say it wasn’t? I wonder.

We moved to Bangalore on the pretext of job and got us an apartment. Our families didn’t know we were in a live-in relationship. Both our families may belong to different religions but we knew they’d band together against us. So, we decided to get married without telling them. Our friends weren’t ready to support us for the fear of attack from our families, his mostly. The irony of it! When the first Pujari we went to refused to marry us we decided to have the ceremony at our home, our apartment. Since no one was invited I made him wear the bridal gown and I wore the suite. He looked ridiculous in that undersized gown. We played the video of Barney Stinson marrying Lily and Marshall. That day a Muslim and a Hindu said “I do” together in Christian style. It was a hilarious wedding, and I knew we were meant for each other. Then why did they say we weren’t? I wonder.

Limitations decreed that I couldn’t have children. We weren’t meant to have kids together. I once cried about it and told him that I’d carry him a baby if there was a way, even if it gave me twice the contraction pain a woman feels. He kissed me and said “Baby, we don’t need a kid just to be happy. All we need is each other. We can be each other’s kid.” I glared at him and said “Is that why you call me Baby?” He laughed, I laughed, and there was nothing abnormal about our laughter. If we could accept each other for what we are despite the imperfections what makes us so unacceptable to others? I wonder.

I wonder what’s more sinful- to contradict thousand year old scripture or to hurt a fellow human.

I don’t know clearly what happened on that fateful day, and my body shudders as I think about it. I returned home from work to find my life torn away in my absence. My people had barged in looking for me, and had attacked him instead. Since when is love a heresy? If all religions preach peace and love then why did they kill him? If everyone has the right to a private life why did they intrude our privacy? As long as the couple loves each other how is it the privilege of the society to approve it or not?

He used to say “They call us gay because we’re always happy. People of opposite gender have a really hard life trying to understand each other. We’re lucky we don’t have to deal with all that drama.” If that’s true, if we’re supposed to be the happy people why am I crying?

Cricket Curse

I have a confession to make: I don’t like Cricket. I don’t know why. I never did. It’s really hard being a non-cricket-lover, you know? Whenever I tell someone I’m not into Cricket they just attempt the pop-the-eyes-out feat and stare at me as if I’m a terrorist and ask “Are you really an Indian?” I don’t mind though. I’m so used to this treatment that I can mouth sync with them as they ask me this question.

A couple of months back when I was in Chennai for work a guy asked me if one of the T20 matches with India is going to be held in Kolkata (where I work ). When I said I don’t watch cricket and hence don’t know, he asked without hesitation, “Really? What do you do then?”

“Actually dude, I’m much more interested in watching my life falling apart, thank you very much!” I wanted to say. How am I supposed to even answer someone who thinks that one can’t have a life during World Cup? But it’s all fine and dandy, because-

I have another confession to make: If I somehow get to watch India playing, they start to lose.

I found this during 2003 World Cup. India was about to lose the semi-finals and even though I wasn’t watching with interest it was the only thing running on our TV. I went to sleep thinking it’s not worth staying up for and when I woke up I heard India had won. Then came the final match with Australia which I watched to try and gain interest in cricket. India lost, and that’s when I realized maybe India won in semi-finals because I stopped watching. My college friends found the connection through the striking coincidences which my presence caused, and during 2011 World Cup my roommates locked me in the apartment and took the TV to the terrace to watch the final match. I didn’t mind at all and co-operated like a proper hostage, and when they understood that India’s winning chances were too large I was let out to watch that last phenomenal sixer. I also was the reason for India losing the World Cup last year, but everyone was blaming Anushka Sharma. Let me do the flashback thingy and recount what really happened that day.

*Flashback Thingy*

I stroll into the office cafeteria one fine afternoon. I find that a match is going on and everyone’s face is turned towards the LCD TV like sunflowers facing the sun. I go buy Biriyani and look for my friends. They wave at me from a hard to reach spot. The entire cafeteria is overflowing with people and I push my way towards my folks and crouch between two slabs to reach the place where we can only eat standing.

“Nice place you guys chose.” I say, “Others won’t come in here so easily. BTW what match is it that everyone’s so keenly watching?”

“Dude!? It’s the semi-finals. India vs Australia. If we win we’ll get into the final.” one of my friends reply so that the concept goes through my thick skull.

“Oops. India? I shouldn’t watch it then. India loses whenever I watch.” I’m done punctuating the sentence and a wicket falls. Everyone turns to look at me in disbelief.

“What the hell man? Why did you do that?” one of them asks me as if I had taken the wicket. It’s like I shot down our own people in a war, and there’s no way to turn off friendly fire.

“I’m sorry” I say feeling guilty, “I’ll just eat without looking at the TV”

I proceed to hastily stuff my mouth with Biriyani trying to only concentrate on the food. About five  minutes in and I can’t take it anymore. Could it be true that I have some kind of curse? How can my watching the match affect their performance? I wonder and being a true believer in Science’s test-and-verify methodology I steal a glance at the TV without my friends noticing. Kohli strikes a fantastic shot towards the sky.

Six! See It’s not a curse. I’m just imagining it. I feel relieved finally and happy. Remember one of those romantic scenes where hero and heroine run towards each other across a rose farm and fall into each other’s arms? The ball slides smoothly into a fielder’s palms just like that. Oopsi daisy, I think and stare back at my food. My teammates become wary of my presence and say, “Man, your presence near the TV is dangerous for India. Please eat quick.”

“I know I know I’m trying!” I plead and gobble rest of the food. I crouch out of the place, wash my hands and leave. Reaching the exit door of the cafeteria I look back to wave a ‘bye’ to my friends, and the whole hall roars “OHH!!!”

Another man down. Oh come on! I throw up my hands and storm out.

*Flashforward Thingy*

Why am I writing this now so long after that match? One, because had I written it back then I’d have been assassinated. Two, because of what happened recently during T20 World Cup.

*Flashback Thingy*

I was lost in watching anime on my mobile as my roommate was watching a match on the TV. I heard the words “… third umpire…” and I looked up curiously. I like how third umpire makes decisions, by making the batsman dance back and forth on the screen. As I looked up the umpire declared “OUT” in bold letters. No way! Don’t tell me it’s India playing, I stared and sure enough it was Yuvraj Singh who got out. It was India vs New Zealand.

I left to have dinner and there too was another TV blaring cricket commentary. In our team’s WhatsApp group one guy asked “Bhags are you watching the match?” and another one replied “Why? What happened?” The first guy responded “Wickets are falling like rain!”

You guys know me so well, I wiped a joyful tear and replied “Guys I came to have dinner. I’m not even watching the match but it’s running on the TV. I can’t stop myself from hearing.” They warned me not to look at the TV, and I didn’t. For some time. Curiosity got the best of me again and I scanned the general direction of TV. Wickets started to fall again. By the time I got up from the dinner table I had devoured the rest of Indian team for dessert. Dhoni blamed the batsmen for not taking the game seriously.

*Flashforward Thingy*

You see my plight? I cannot support my own country even if I wanted to. So now whenever someone asks me why I don’t watch Cricket I have a better answer than saying “I have better things to do… like watching Teletubbies and Chota Bheem.”

This is a superpower I didn’t ask for. I wish I could trade it for some other power. But as a fellow superhero said- “With great power comes great irresponsibility.”

Deadpool said that, if you’re wondering. So now I’m looking forward to monetize this power but I’m afraid I won’t get many takers in my country and there goes my plans for supporting “Make In India”. If you know some foreign clients who will pay me good amount let me know. Bitcoins accepted ;)

Disclaimer: The superpower only works on live telecast. Duh!

Captain America: Civil War- Movie Review

So I watched the civil war movie last weekend. What a film! So much action and violence yet so much to be learnt from the great personalities. You know, like Lincoln, Jefferson and so on.

What? Not the American civil war, but Captain America Civil War? Oh poop, let’s start again.

*rewind*

So I watched the Civil War movie last weekend. What a film! So much action and violence yet so much to be learnt from the great personalities. You know, like Captain America, Iron-man, Scarlet Witch, Black Widow. Ok, the names sound weird in that context, but trust me the movie is great.

The plot follows the events of the last Marvel movie Avengers 2. No wait, it was Ant-Man. Actually it may be important that you watch all Marvel movies released so far (except Guardians of the Galaxy) to make full sense of this movie and appreciate the character development being done here. Or you can read their plot summaries in Wikipedia like Sheldon Cooper, but where’s the fun in that? The seeds for this Civil War had been sown in many of the earlier movies, and I’m glad it turned out good enough.

In addition to most of the Avengers cast, there’s Ant-man included, and two refreshing new entries- Black Panther and Spider-Man (come on it’s not a spoiler; they showed them in the trailers!). Ant-man needs no introduction since we had his origin story last year only.

Black Panther’s entry in the Marvel cinematic universe was a tad too late. He’s actually the first ‘black’ super hero in the American comics, but unfortunately for him Falcon showed up early in the Marvel movies and the erstwhile white Nick Fury swapped skin with Michael Jackson and became black for the movies. I liked how much you can empathise with this character in the small time he’s onscreen even if you’re not familiar with him (as there isn’t a standalone movie yet). Black Panther’s costume is remarkable as it stayed true to the comic book design AND looked super cool in the movie.

Those paying attention to this space would know that I’m a huge Spider-Man fan, so I was apprehensive of this reboot of Spider-Man yet again. But boy, did I love this friendly neighborhood web slinging potato head, or what? Not only staying true to the comic book costume design (I didn’t mind the scaly reptilian texture of the previous movies either), the character was actually a teenager this time, was actually funny wise cracker during fights, and preserved the shy nerdy persona of Peter Parker when not in the costume. Only thing that bothered me was this line he said (I don’t consider this a spoiler but an Easter-egg since most people won’t notice its significance) -

“If you can do what I do but you don’t do it, and someone gets hurt… it’s your fault”

Sounds to me like a really convoluted beating- around-the-bush way of saying “with great powers comes great responsibility”. What happened Marvel, didn’t get back the copyright for this trademark Spidey quote?

Of course Captain America and Iron-man are the main players, the leaders, because one is called ‘Captain’ (also the movie is in his name) and Iron-man has lot of money. Despite this we never feel that any character was given a small role. The hardest task in writing the story for such a movie is that all characters need to be given equal importance, lest they feel neglected. (Are you listening, writers of Batman V Superman? You had two heroes. Two!). Everyone has good memorable scenes and have their own reason to be in the fight as well. Regarding the fight… wondering why the hell all the good guys turn on each other? Why should they fight their own friends? Half the movie is dedicated to slowly building up the discord and tension between the factions and it’s done brilliantly. Before the movie I thought whatever reason they gave won’t be satisfactory, but I was impressed. This movie proves that people don’t get bored when there’s too much talking, and also mind numbing action (read Avengers 2) isn’t necessarily the best way to build up a plot. Some gurus who have attained Nirvana might say “Why fight their own friends? Any problems they had could be solved by talking it out. Like Batman and Superman did”. Well, what do you expect from a bunch of grown kids who joke even while fighting? I’m kidding; most of the fights are pretty intense. This might be the most mature story in the Marvel Universe yet.

With such a huge cast this movie should’ve been called Avengers 3, right? Maybe they realized that the ‘Avengers’ brand name has much bigger expectations than ‘Captain America’ brand, and from the lukewarm reception of Avengers 2 we know that satisfying such sky high standards of the former is harder than meeting the expectations for the latter.

But wait, there has to be negative points too right? Nothing can be truly perfect. Several stunt scenes look like they were lazily done with old time camera tricks.  The biggest negative, however, in my opinion would be the underwhelming CGI. Many scenes look poorly done. I was surprised when I first found out that RDJ doesn’t actually wear the Iron-man armor during filming but it’s added later. In this movie you don’t have to be told that information. Marvel, please find that guy causing the bad effects and take a reverse-KT to see if he knows anything at all.

If you can adjust with that minor distraction the movie is actually pretty good. It successfully uses events, elements and character chemistry from previous movies and builds on it admirably to usher in a new era in the Marvel cinematic universe- Phase Three. A must watch movie for any Marvel fan.

P.S: Elizabeth Olsen though <3