Jun 25, 2013

Man of Steel- Goofs and my Tweaks


Some of the funny mistakes I noticed (maybe I’m wrong) in Man of Steel and how I thought it could’ve been:
   
      1.      It is a wide spread notion that human body replaces all the cells in a 7 years span, which means after 7 years our body won’t have the cells that we have now. This may be false info since some cells like brain cells (neurons) cannot be replaced. But we do know that most cells like the hair, skin and even blood and bones do die and get replaced. Based on that, if you store information in a person’s cells how long will it last (even for a kryptonian).

Tweak: Better idea could’ve been storing the data it in the brain that could later be ‘recalled’ (something like in Transformers 2)
    
      2.      When Jor-El (Superman’s dad) dives in the lake and reaches a storage area (or whatever) to take this ‘Codex’ which is very very important in carrying on Kryptonian generations, guess what, no security is there. “Welcome sir, have a seat. Would you like to listen to music while you steal that thing?”

Tweak: Add more robotic-guns securing the area. Bang-bang-bangity-bang!

      3.      A space ship is found inside artic, frozen. The experts claim that the ice around the ship is thousands of years old. Well it could be that the Kryptonians sent it long long back but here’s the thing. This ship also contains Jor-El’s consciousness. (This part is impressive. It makes more sense to use “consciousness” than the recorded videos through which old movies depicted the father). Maybe the “S” key had the consciousness? But he says he designed the ship. I didn’t get that part. Maybe I missed something.

Tweak: Proper explanation, like the ship went into a magnetic storm got stuck here in the wrong time (like in Planet of Apes)

    4.      After the speech from his dad (or rather his consciousness), Clark is given the superman suit. A Kryptonian suit makes more sense than that man-made suit in old movies that unbelievably could withstand everything that Sups went through. Hey, even spiderman had to throw away his torn suit after each movie. Anyway when Clark gets the suit, he comes out wearing it and, wait a second! He’s clean shaved and with a neat haircut. Wasn’t he looking like Tarzan when he went in?

Tweak: Send Clark inside that glass chamber where the suit is and let the machinery do the magic. Add in some smoke so we can’t see him while he’s getting dressed and tadaa.. when he comes out he’s superman!

    5.      Superman is told that the “World engine” will reduce his powers if he went near them and still, he seems to have no problem even when he’s right below it exposed to the drilling beam. How come? What’s giving him power? Will-power is not enough here guys!

Tweak: Here’s how I would’ve filmed it. Superman comes flying to destroy the “world engine” and when he comes directly below it, to his surprise he is blown into the ground. He has lost all his power because this machine is making the place Krypton-ish (their people don’t have power in Krypton so superman too can’t have power here). The drilling beam keeps hitting him sending him deeper and deeper into the earth while the powerless Superman can only hope for a wonder. He feels like a paper being blown away to the wind’s whim. Then he starts feeling something hot behind. He turns with great effort even when the beam is sending him deeper. He surmises that he must be approaching the core of the earth. He comes face-to-face with the thick hot magma waiting to swallow him. He uses all his power left trying to fly away from the hot burning rays of the core. He finds that he’s able to fly a little now. How? I was totally powerless a moment back. That’s when he realises it’s the core. The core is a part of sun still burning, and sunlight is what gives me power. He soaks himself in that burning heat (luke warm for him) and when he feels he’s fully charged he flies straight up, at lightning speed. He plunges right into the world machine, smashing it, blowing it into smithereens.

    6.       I was furious when a lady police says about superman that “He’s kinda hot”. What? How dare she call him ‘kinda’ hot? Woman, He’s Superman!

Tweak: She should’ve said “Superman is super-hot”

    7.      Fun Fact: English is a wide spread language of course, but did you know that it was spoken in Krypton too?


Tweak: Give the Kryptonians a very complex language and so it will be very easy for them to grasp English within minutes. They were such intellectually superior race so they must’ve had a really complex language as well.

Any other goofs you noticed? Place that in the comments section :)

Man of Steel


Look up in the sky!

It’s a bird!

It’s a plane!

No, it’s Superman!

No it’s actually a little bit of everything flying and crashing around. Stop looking at the sky and run for your life goddammit, before something falls on you!

And that’s how the movie goes. I believe everyone would’ve seen the movie by now as this was after all one of the most anticipated movies of the year. There was a time not too long ago when I had my FB profile pic as myself photoshopped like Superman (with the cape, hair style and all). I’m that a big fan of Sups. Who isn’t? He’s like this omnipotent god of superheroes. I think he must be the first superhero to be ever created. Writers back then didn’t think of what powers to give him so they first made him a super strong man and then as the stories went on they added super powers to him to suite the story. I’ve even read a comic book where he says he has photographic memory and re-assembles a broken super-computer from memory. And Sheldon Cooper boasts about having eidetic memory, pfft. Is there anything you can’t do Superman?

But to be frank I was a little disappointed with the movie. Maybe our expectations were too high. Why won’t they be since the director is Zack Snyder and the producer Christopher Nolan. The visuals are so awe inspiring in the classic Zack Snyder style that something had to be compromised and sadly it was the story that got the beating. Let’s see what the movie has.

Unlike any of the previous movies, this movie shows very good deal of the planet Krypton where our Sups hails from. The previous movies didn’t do that satisfactorily enough as they wanted to show, at the earliest, the red and blue tights flying around saving the city. That’s not right. The ghosts of your past won’t leave you alone, especially if your past is a shattered planet. Even the cartoon version dedicated a whole episode to show what happened in Krypton before the planet went up in smokes. So I very much liked that part of the movie.

These people wear fancy clothes that must take hours to put on (and it looks cool nevertheless). Our hero is born to a smart couple that knows the planet is about to implode. Nobody pays heed to the guy so he takes some last minute measures to save his race (some dare-devil stuffs) and launches Kal-El (superman’s name in that planet) into outer-space on a route to an unknown planet which they know has environment that can sustain life. This is a standard beginning as in every superman story (with some modifications of course).

What happens next is something the movie has shown very well. His body struggles to get used to the Earth’s strange environment, with the sun’s ‘yellow’ light giving him powers he can’t control. No matter how powerful he is, he still is an alien. And so his new parents try hard to keep that a secret. Because no matter what good you do, people will still be afraid of you. Not like the old movies where he just decides to use his powers to save people (and become famous). Why should he? He needs a normal life too and so he tries desperately to refrain from using his powers. But with great powers comes great responsibility right? I liked this new treatment to superman. Not a hero but a fallen angel.

It’s incredible how much superman-like the actor (Henry Cavill) looks. He must get that a lot in his home town. It’s not surprising that he was considered for Superman Returns. This is how superman should look- big and mature- not like the college student looking guy in Superman Returns. Superman doesn’t have the signature hair-style either (that little curl), which is stupid. Come on Clark, how do you expect to maintain a difference between Superman and Clark Kent? Humans are smart too you know!

Louis Lane does a great job. Instead of just pointing out that she won Pulitzer Prize, the movie brings out the journalist in her. ‘Morpheus’ is fat and weak. Russell Crowe plays a good father and the ‘consciousness’, though I found his sudden moves comical when he controlled the ship. The female Kryptonian’s speech about “Evolutionary advantage” is impressive and she fights well too. Strangely, that’s all I have to say about the characters.

Loved these lines:-

Clark-“I don’t know if I can trust them”
Cleric-“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. Trust comes after”

The movie looks real. The characters look real and not like supermodels. No more cartoon like bright dresses and the people of Krypton seem to have finally figured out that the underwear is something you wear inside your pants. I missed the old superman hair though.

Sigh, if only they had paid more attention to the story. They spent all their energy into the visual effects, and did a very good job too, but that’s not all a movie requires. No matter how earth shattering the movie was (literally shattering, they managed to thoroughly ground a whole city) the movie had little impression on me. It was fun watching but I didn’t feel anything after coming out of the movie. Movies should make an impact, right? But hey, that’s just my opinion.


Man of steel- a bit too hard.

Jun 6, 2013

Animal Perspective


Her name was Dusk. She was the oldest one, the matriarch. She had the responsibility of taking care of the herd, of 12 elephants. And these were tough times. Water was scarce. They had tried every known lake in the vicinity, but nothing. It’s particularly hard for elephants to live more than a day without water, that’s why they stay close to a water source always. After counselling with the others, Dusk decided to take them to a lake to the far south of the jungle.

After a whole night of odd journey towards the direction they had never ventured, they were all tired.

“Are we there yet? I’m bored.” exclaimed Ebony, a young one, jumping and trying to keep up with his mother.

“For the last time, Ebby!, we’ll reach there when we reach there. Go play with Pepper” Said his mother, Brunet.

“I don’t wanna! She’s mean”

“What did she do to you?”

“It’s just... She’s always going off about how I have to leave the heard when I’m grown, coz I’m a boy.” Ebby said with bulging eyes.

“Well that’s true honey. When you’re grown enough to take care of yourself, you have to go join boys of your age”

“I don’t wanna!!” proclaimed Ebony.

“Now now Ebby, think of all the girls you can meet”

“WHY? I already have you, mom!”

“Aww sweety, but that’s the rule. Guess what, we can communicate while being miles away. Through this special walkie-talkie we have.” She touched on his forehead, a special membrane that emits infrasound.

“Cool” shouted Ebony.

And you’ll be free. Here you won’t have many girls of your age. Unless you like Pepper”, mother said winking at Ebby.

“Ewww.. gross!! I don’t like her.” managed Ebby.

“Haha. That’s what they always say when they’re young” laughed another elephant.

“Huh” declared Ebby, twisting his trunk upward and marching forward, “I’m leaving the group”

In front pepper was strolling with her mother. Seeing Ebony she called “Hey!! Ebbyyy!! Wanna play a game? It’s called ‘leave-the-herd’. Haha”

Now Ebby got furious and chased Pepper, “If I’m leaving I’m taking you away too”

“Hahaha. Gotta catch me first” ran Pepper.

They ran several meters ahead of the herd. All of a sudden, the forest just quit continuing. Pepper realised and stopped on her tracks. In front of them was an open valley of what seemed like big grass and after that were peculiarly shaped box like structures they had never seen. Pepper immediately ran back and hid behind Ebony. Ebby was himself shocked. Somehow it didn’t strike as nature’s work.

“What is this?”

Dusk knew immediately what this was. In front of them was a farm. In the end of it was a village, of humans. They had heard of the monsters from the south, which occasionally enter jungle to kill time, kill one of elephants instead, and take their tusks as a trophy.

The matriarch was confused. “This was the place where I drank water with my mother’s herd when I was young”. An elephant’s memory cannot be wrong.

“Can’t you see what happened? These vile creatures have cut the forest and grown their nests.” One of the elders whispered angrily.

“So it seems”, murmured the eldest. “The nests must’ve been built around that lake. If these humans are still living here, it means there must be water still there.”

After thinking about it one offered “We didn’t come this far to go back. I say we go forward, have water and leave as quickly as possible.”

“It’s still risky” objected another.

“What do you say sister” an elder one asked the matriarch.

“I agree it’s dangerous, but we need water” said Dusk thinking carefully, “It’s still dawning. We can go in and leave before the lazy creatures see us. Our soft padded foot will call no attention. Just keep out of obvious paths and enter from the side. Don’t directly cut through their nests.”

The herd started moving towards the village from the side, still covered by trees. When they had come closest, they entered the village via the road joining the cottages.

“These humans are smart ones. Look how they’ve made their own pathways”, marvelled one.

“Yes, they are smart indeed but they have no respect to other living creatures or even their own kinds.” said another elder, “They wage war against each other, destroying forests and other creatures, killing their own kinds just so they can spread their generations there. It makes no sense. Would you kill another herd and replace it with your children?”

“Yes, they are very powerful. With great power comes great arrogance. They forgot that they are animals too” said the eldest.

Then they stopped. In front of them was the vast lake, mightier than any of them had ever seen. Except Dusk who recognized it as soon as she saw it. “Isn’t it beautiful. I remember playing on its shore.” said she “Go douse in it”. She stood there as everyone ran into the water.

Just then she noticed something, through the corner of her eye, on the left shore. A group of women were washing clothes. They froze in terror as they saw the elephants. The matriarch noticed this but didn’t tell her herd which was happily soaking itself in the elixir, spewing water at themselves, eyes closed, enjoying every drop falling on them.

Realizing the harmlessness owing to their meagre number, matriarch entered water. She wasn’t of age to play. She drank, gave herself a quick shower and got out to resume guarding. Getting out, she gave a quick shot of glance towards the other side. It came as a shock when she couldn’t find the humans there.

“Alright everyone, play time’s over. It’s time to leave before humans see us”
All of them got out respectfully. They saw worry in the matriarch’s eyes. 

“You worry too much sister. Give yourself a break now and then. You are always on duty.” said an elder.

The matriarch faked a smile while walking, “I don’t see it as a duty sister. It’s my privilege.”

While going through the village they noticed that people have started coming out of their nests. A human shrieked. They were only accustomed to seeing elephants in what they called temples, bounded to chains, their masterful trunks reduced to picking up coins.

“Just act calm.” said the matriarch, “Don’t walk too fast. Better yet, don’t even look at them. Any sudden movement and they’ll attack. They have magic wands that can spell death.”

Little did the herd know that the humans were in terror. They saw these elephants, bigger than they had seen or heard of, and started running amuck. They started running away from where elephants were coming. Unfortunately that direction was where the elephants intended to go.

“Stop.” cried one elephant, “These monsters are trying to block our way into the forest. Look how they’re running towards the forest. I bet they’re setting traps.”

They stopped and observed around. More people were coming from all sides. The humans had a strange behaviour. Their fear made them run but their curiosity made them stay at a safe distance from where they could look at all these fancy animals.

“What do we do?” asked a worried elephant, “They got us surrounded.”

One of them gave a cry of shock. It was Brunet.

“Ebby!! Where’s Ebby?”

----------------------------------------------

Ebby had wandered away unaware of his mother’s absence. He turned around a house, saw a naked kid playing, and hid himself behind a banyan tree.

Ebby laughed “Hehe, look mom. That human has his trunk at wrong place.”

Hearing no response, Ebby turned around to check on her. She wasn’t there.

“Mom? MOOOooommmyyyyy...”

Hearing him the little kid ran away crying. The little human’s cry scared Ebby and he ran too.
There he saw a big box. A big box full of fruits. The box was on an elevated platform.  It had one side open which fell to the ground hinged, at a slanting angle making it feasible to climb.

Banana!”

 Ebby flicked his lips, walked up the board into the box. As soon as he reached the fruits, he jumped on them. “Wow, So many fruits. I’ll take some for mom… and Pepper.” just then realization dawned on him, that they weren’t here.

“Oh my god!! Mom?” He turned to find his mom again, but saw nothing, nothing but a wall on his face.
The box had been closed on the side where it was open earlier, just a moment ago.

“Hey!! Let me out. I’m stuck here” shouted Ebby, then realised whose place this was, “Oh no, Humans. They trapped me. MOM!!”

The box started moving slowly making grunting sound as it went.
“No no no. They’re dragging me somewhere. They’re gonna eat me”  Ebby started crying. The box started moving faster making Ebby wobble and finally fall on his side. “How many humans are pulling me?”

-----------------------------------------------------

Not so far away Ebby’s mother Brunet was screaming for her baby. The villagers started moving farther thinking the elephant has lost its sanity.

“Where have you taken my baby, you filthy little maggots! Give him to me back” roared she. What the humans saw was a mad elephant trumpeting loudly.

Just then she heard a faint call of help. It was Ebby’s voice. She could identify it from anywhere. Turning immediately towards the sound she saw him. Just his head though.

Ebby was being carried away on a jeep.

“There he is!” screamed his mother to her companions. They lost control by the sight of one of their young ones being taken away. They all broke into a chase.

The matriarch, though being old, ran fast. She was also the smartest one. She signalled others using infrasound “Their manoeuvring objects are fast. We need to get them where they won’t expect us.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The jeep drove really fast now having come to open lakeshore. It went right along the shoreline, turning with it. The driver turned back and saw about a dozen elephants still on hot pursuit.

The jeep had done turning around the lake and was now running on the shore opposite from the village. Just then two elephants emerged from the lake, right in front of the vehicle. Being great swimmers, Dusk and Brunet had swum across the lake while the jeep was running long way around the lake.

The jeep screeched to a halt as the driver stomped on the brake.

“Let me deal with him” hissed the mother and stepped in front of the vehicle. She twirled her trunk and threw dust in the air to warn the human.

“What is he is sitting in? It’s roaring at us” asked Brunet still facing the vehicle.

“I don’t know. It’s not certainly alive. Its eyes though glowing, are dead cold and not meeting our gaze. Humans are dark magicians remember? It’s probably stronger than us.” suggested matriarch.

The vehicle roared again acknowledging the gear shift and it came straight towards them.

“Move Brunet!”

But a mother distressed is a mother not to be messed. She was already on a head-on collision course with the jeep, running as fast as she could. Just a second before they could hit, the driver perhaps realised the slim chance of survival and turned the steering wheel towards the right with all the quickest human agility. Brunet hadn’t expected this. She had lowered her head, brandishing her tusks in front to meet the jeep as it collided. Her head wobbled awkwardly as nothing hit her. The jeep passed her merely scratching her skin. Just an instant before the jeep had fully passed she turned her head to hit the jeep. Her head didn’t touch anything, but her tusk went through the rear wheel, blowing it.

The jeep drove on a rock and almost flipped over. The human tried to compensate by turning quickly to left but, with the blown wheel, that only shifted the centre of gravity. Capturing this opportunity, matriarch moved quick and hit the jeep from its side.

That was all the jeep could take. It went somersaulting and flipping into the bush. It then hit a tree and stopped.

“Oh my god, Ebby!” screamed Brunet now on her feet and catching up with them. She broke the hind of the jeep open and took Ebby out.

“I’m okay mom” said a scared Ebby, “The fruits are ruined though. I fell on them”

The human was still in the vehicle thanks to the seat belt. Brunet pulled out and threw the driver to the ground. Her blood was boiling. She lifted her foot at the human.

“Stop it sister! What are you doing?” asked Dusk calmly.

“Making an example of him”, said Brunet.

“Really? But the humans are not here to see you do this”

“What do you mean?”

“What you are doing… is setting an example for your son.”

“Huh?”

“Yes sister. Think of what you are making him go through. He’ll grow up believing that killing people is fine. This isn’t us. To be more accurate, you are acting like a human.”

The last words stung her. She moved away and looked at Ebony who was visibly scared. She felt bad about her actions. Moving further away from the human she said “Let’s go. We have nothing to do here”

The matriarch gave an old wrinkled smile “I’m proud of you my child” as they went back. The others were waiting for them. They had found that there was a closer entry to the forest from the corner of the lake.

Pepper came running “Ebby! Are you alright? Where did you go?”

“I’m fine” said Ebby acting angry “you wanted me to go, so I left.”

“Sorry! I won’t tell you to go again” said pepper sadly.

“But… I’ll chase YOU away, hah, you silly little peppy!” shouted Ebony and started chasing Pepper.

As the herd vanished into the forest, the human got up slowly clutching the tree, made sure the elephants weren’t looking back, dusted the dirty clothes and limped towards the other direction.

-------------------------------------

Flash News:

“Hi, this is Monica standing on the outskirts of the little village, Ambipur, where the elephant herd wreaked havoc.

‘Early morning today the huge squad of about 10 wild elephants just came barging in like they own the place.

‘There was terror among the villagers when the elephants started running around. Thankfully no life was lost. It’s a miracle that these elephants left without much loss. The only substantial loss would be a jeep that was smashed brutally by only a couple of them. Imagine how much damage they could’ve done had not the jeep drawn them out of the village.

‘Yes, the jeep drew the elephants out. Thanks to the local forest officer.”

(Scene cuts and reopens near the jeep, battered and tattered)

“This morning the officer got reports of elephants from villagers, who had come to wash their clothes here. When the officer reached, the elephants were inside the village already. The only possible way for them to go without accidently inflicting harm was from this side of the lake from where forest entry is easy. But the elephants didn’t know that, they wanted to go back the way they came from. So, one of their little ones was lured into this jeep using fruits and was trapped. They saw the jeep and chased it to this side.”

(The camera zooms out to show a woman in khaki standing beside the reporter)

“We have with us the fearless Jamunadevi, the forest officer of this area. Pleasure to meet you ma’am”

“The pleasure is mine”

“So tell me, why did you choose such a method?”

“Well, gun shots could’ve been used to scare them into running to the forest but then our ‘smart’ people had run to that side were the elephants intended to. So I did what you accused me for”, Said Jamunadevi laughing.

“I’m sure that’s not all that happened. This jeep looks like a wreck. Did the animals attack you?”

“Well, won’t you if someone took your kid away?”

“Uh…”

“Exactly, they are peaceful and just like us love their family but are feared because of their size. We are more danger to them than they are to us. I’m sure TV channels that don’t know the full story would use some amateur video and report animal menace. We call ourselves social animals but forget that we are not the only ones.”

“Very inspiring ma’am. You sure saved the day for the villagers and the herd. I’m sure they are thankful to you.”

“Who? the elephants? Haha. I better not come across that herd again. With the kind of memory they have, they would hate me forever.”