How Babies are made

Origin is one of the most intriguing subject to mankind that has always has uncertain answers. While grown people wonder how universe began and how life came to a start in our planet, our little scientists wonder how babies come into existence. Here’s how to answer the little fellas when their curious minds, probing various subjects, finally settle down to this question.

Nice Way:

Little girl goes near her dad who’s working on his computer.

“Daddy! How are babies made? Mom says she’s going to give me a baby brother soon.”

Dad is embarrassed but thinks a little and decides to tell her. Dad lifts her onto his lap. He does a little google picture search and shows her a picture of amoeba splitting into two.

“Okay… you see there? I made this picture just for you. That’s a small living thing called amoeba. Let’s take them for example.”

“Why don’t you show me picture of people making babies”

Because I don’t want to go to jail. “Err… sorry honey, we don’t have picture of people making babies in 

our computer“(laughs a little inside)

“Okay” she says disappointed.

“So, this amoeba. It eats and grows up like us. When it’s too big to hold its weight, it starts breaking and splits into two individuals.”

“Okay…” she says slowly, not able to make the connection with humans.

“That’s all. You see, when mom is old enough she starts eating a lot. She becomes silly fat.”

“Yes, her belly is as big as grandpa’s!” She exclaims, finally getting it.

“Uh… yes. That extra weight becomes a baby slowly inside her. When the baby is big, mom will have difficulty holding the extra weight. Then one day the belly will fall off her and the baby will be separate. That’s how you were born.” Dad finishes congratulating himself for pulling off the story perfectly.

“Ooh!” little girl makes the face of an adult who just understood the theory of relativity.

She tries to recall the concept “Hmm… We grow up. We eat lot. We get big belly. Belly becomes baby. So if big belly becomes baby, why didn’t grandpa give a baby yet?”

Dad looks dumbstruck.

Moral: Lie doesn’t works, even with kids.

Not-so-Nice Way:

Little brother came into big brother’s room and asked “Bhaiya, how did mom and dad make me? I’m asking them but they’re not telling me. They said some stork brought me home. I know they’re lying.”

Big brother, who was working on his laptop, got irritated by the intervention, but decided not to be rude to his little brother.

“Wow… you’re one smart fella aren’t you”, big bro turned and looked at him, then said “I’ll tell you but you shouldn’t tell this to anyone okay?”

“Okay” little boy jumped up and down in expectation.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, and maybe you’re too young to know this, but I believe in the right to information”

“Hmm”

“You’ll most definitely get shocked after hearing this so I’m preparing you for it by saying these things. But in case you still find it horrifying and you wanna cry, do it here. You shouldn’t show it in front of mom and dad, okay?”

“Okay” said the little boy somewhat uncomfortable now.

“Great… Now… you see there are certain things that grown up people do. Mostly married people”

“Oh… What’s that?” boy asked wide eyed.

“Lot of stupid stuffs, you won’t understand most of them. One of them…” He said looking into little brother’s eyes, “is called adoption… you were adopted!” he said trying to hold off the smirk.

The kid never pestered his parents again.

Moral: Hurtful things, even if they are lies, work.

Disclaimer: Don’t try this at home.