Let's order food tonight

“Son, I’m going to show you how to get food today” father cat summoned his son, a baby cat.

“Wow! cool dad. Let’s go hunting!” screamed the kitten enthusiastically.

“Hunting?” father widened his eyes “Ho ho hold it right there son. We don’t hunt.”

“But we are the cat family. All our relatives hunt. Cheetahs, Tigers, Lions” Said a disappointed son.

Father placed his tiny paw on the even tinier son’s shoulder “Look son, those relatives of ours are fools. They run behind food, hunt it, fall down, get wounded, chase another prey and finally by a stroke of luck get to eat something. But we are most sophisticated of our cat kinds. We are… the house cats. We have been worshipped by these humans for ages. They wash us, serve us food, make us place to live, clean them regularly and what not. They even pick up our droppings” winked the father proudly.

“Oh! I never thought of it that way” wondered the kitten.

“You are young still my boy. I’m going to show you how to control these pets of ours. So, when I’m not around in the future you may hold the power over these slaves and take good care of them” beamed the dad. The son accepted the honour.

The mighty father took his son to the kitchen.

“This is the food store son. This is where our pets bring and save our food so we don’t have to go out in the sun and hunt on our own. Now watch me carefully. Observe and learn” said the father and walked towards the lady who was preparing food for her kids.

“Hey you! You there. What’s your name again?” shouted the father.

The woman looked down at the house cat meowing at her. She smiled and said “Well hello there Mr. Whiskers. How you doing?”

“Such a long name? All I asked was your name. Are you retarded? She answers different each time I ask her name. Gosh our ancestors never taught these slaves to talk”

The woman bent down to pick him up.

“No no no. No need to touch my feet” screamed daddy cat stepping back, trying to be modest in front of his son. Normally he would allow her to pick him up and pet him. It felt great.

Instead he beckoned his son to come inside the kitchen.

“Look fat lady. This is my son. You should know but I can’t trust your memory. He is going to be the next ruler of this land. So whenever he wants food, you give him. When he wants water, you give him. When he wants a massage, you give him. When he wants to pee, you… uh… you provide him… place to pee. Do you understand, you dim wit? Now heed my command or I will kill you right now. As your master I order you to produce food before me instantly”

The woman felt sorry for the little cat meowing at her with sad eyes.

“Awwww, poor little kitty brought his baby kitten with him. You both must be pretty hungry by now. Look at your eyes, all teary, watery. Here, have some of this dish I’m preparing for the kids. Don’t tell them I gave it to you before them” winked the woman and placed some fish on the cat’s bowl. The cat pushed the bowl proudly out of the kitchen.

“Ha ha ha. That was fun. See son, that’s how it’s done. But I feel sorry for scaring her to death” said the father guilt fully.

“Ha ha yeah dad, you’re awesome. She’ll be traumatized for life. I bet she’s crying right now. ” added the son.

“Here, try this fish. That human maybe stupid but she makes great food” said the father, munching on a bite not realizing that the fish was raw.